Stressed

Its so difficult to work now. I get so stressed. When I'm working that my mind just blanks out. Just feel lost, and not knowing what I'm supposed to do. So i just do something else to take my mind away, and I would forgot about my work and its so difficult to get started again. And I would feel guilty afterwards, and 'punish' myself by working overtime, by skipping rest, the little breaks, the little luxuries of life. And the pressures of work would prompt me off again.

Seems like a polar disorder. A struggle with no end. Feel like going crazy sometimes, but feel relaxed at other times. But I have to persist, cannot give up yet, just a few months, and it should be over.

Have to snap out, have to fight myself. When can I live up to my own expectations, when can I be good enough for myself.